Hello all fellow quitters!
A new milestone in my quit journey. Not bad for someone who always said that I have a will and have the power but I have no willpower to quit smoking. That was my standard answer to everyone who asked why I smoked or suggested that I quit.
Fast forward to today and I am no longer a smoker, not in my mind and not in my soul. My former "best friend" is gone and demised but not forgotten. As with the most of you, it was a love-hate, abusive relationship and I was the one who was always abused. Always a non-stop feeding frenzy of my money and health and in return all I got was a foul smell, total dependency and a paranoia that I may run out of cigs. Compounded by previous unsuccessful quits I truly believed that this addiction is unbeatable, something beyond my control and I should just accept it because it's just the way it is.
However, that is the biggest lie. YOU CAN BEAT IT IF YOU PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT. Finally I told myself that it's time, started reducing the number of cigs each day and finally got to the point when smoking one or two cigs per day was just as painful as not smoking any at all, so I finally stopped altogether. The first month was hard but doable. Self doubts always creep in during initial few weeks but after a while cravings diminish to the point of fleeting nano moments. And I became an independent person once again. Freedom!!! No more running outside for a smoke when outside temp is +40C (104F) or -40C (-40F) or drive to a convenience store in the middle of the night because you only have a couple of smokes left and your paranoid mind fueled by addiction keeps telling you that you gotta get more or you are in big trouble, and on, and on. And you simply realize that it's a stupid habit. Just how stupid I will describe next. Once, I was on the top of a mountain peak in Andes called Chacaltaya near La Paz, Bolivia at 5,421m (17,785 ft) high. There is hardly any oxygen at that attitude and to show off I lit up a smoke there. That was pretty stupid. I almost died right there and then feeling pretty sick. And the point is that in addition to making you sick, rubbing you of your money and health smoking makes you stupid. And it's a disgusting habit on the top of everything else.
It really helps to solidify your quit when you tell yourself that you are not a smoker anymore and smoking is something you no longer want or desire. Otherwise; you are setting yourself up for a failure. Happened to me twice before because in my mind I was a smoker who chose not to smoke. It takes just one puff in a social situation or during stress, or whenever to become a full time smoker again. Mindset is critical.
I still interact with friends and coworkers who smoke and their smoking doesn't bother me at all. Smokers don't have any effect on my life anymore but I am glad I didn't have to remove my old friends from my circle of friends because they still smoke or vice versa.
Thanks for reading and if at least one person becomes more determined in his/her quit after reading this I'll be very happy.
More power to you in your quit no matter how you achieve it. One thing is certain - You can do it.
Next update and more rambling when I reach 2 years